cupcakes for breakfast

sweet mercy.

it's fun friday.

and no, i didn't find my keys or the $100 bill that i was going to use for bills.

BUT, we do have daddy's extra set of keys, and i managed to do a little shopping last night.

cupcakes for breakfast.

we needed something to take the sting out.

and why not go grocery shopping as a family?

they were pretty helpful,

and deserved a quarter each.

this little sprite is too cute to stay frustrated at.

i've learned my lesson.

from now on, i will be placing all my belongings in a fingerprint/eye scan required safe.

we've had some pretty nifty heat waves the past couple of days and had to take full advantage.

thank goodness for neighbors, and good old fashioned water hoses.

they'd do the conga line all the way to the hose sprayer.

it was funny to watch.

run away!

this girl.

i love these kids.

happy fun friday.

the end.

damage control

my husband's friend asked me if i could give some advice to her daughter about surviving with a toddler.

i try to be really honest about mothering and parenthood, so i'm sorry if i gave the impression of perfect parenting over here, and made people to believe that i was actually qualified in giving advice.

i laugh, only because i am constantly looking for advice - ok, maybe not advice - maybe just people out there going through the same ordeal of SURVIVING a toddler...

and baby,

and preteen diva,

or know-it-all little man.

sigh.

so here's the dealio.

once upon a time - feel free to skip ahead if you've heard this story before - i was an early childhood major. i taught first grade and preschool.

one day, the sensei of all that is early childhood education, came up to me and basically said i was the bomb in a room full of my peers. and like the egocentric 20 year old that i was, i let it get to my head...big time.

i told my mom i'd have perfect kids, because, well, i'd be the perfect mother - duh.

i mean, if i could wrangle 15 kids twice a day, four times a week, and receive praise from parents about how their kids would never have done this or that without my teaching -

being a parent would be a piece of cake.

in the past month, my daughter has tried to escape and run away from the house and gated patio, causing her to squash her toe and lose a toenail in the process.

my toddler broke into our landlord's house and got out all his GLASS christmas ornaments.

back in april, a neighbor called the cops on me claiming my daughter was running around in the middle of the street unsupervised for at least 10 minutes, so i was told. ahem, just to be clear, it was only 3, and i was rushing upstairs to put the baby down for a nap, and ran back downstairs only to find that the toddler had broken through the child locks and was chit-chatting it up with the officer on the patio.

regardless, it was pretty humiliating.

we've been unwelcome at certain people's homes because they think my kids are monsters.

i dress my babies and by lunch time they are naked again.

i brush hair and attach pretty bows to pretty ponytails - only to be thanked with the chore of getting out the peanut butter, again, to free the sticky gum from ratted hair, again.

for the love of ice cream, is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of food-free hair?!

and in case you're wondering, the food choice of today's flavored hair is fried egg.

the yellow yolk adds a nice highlight.

the past few days i've been finding those stupid wads of red wax - you know the ones that those cute circles of cheese are encased in?  yeah, those dumb things are smeared all over the floor and t.v. i've practically given up on mopping anymore.

i'm in the middle of moving - or supposed to be. and i think i've taken 20+ bags of toys, clothes, and junk to goodwill. we're on our way to becoming a minimalist family because i just can't take the clutter on top of chasing one toddler who ran out of the door, only to find that the other is right on my heels...and bolting for our (luckily) dead end road.

i chop up grilled chicken and fresh red peppers for lunch, place them on the table, turn around - and in those 5 seconds - i see the toddler trying to be like mommy, cutting up more red peppers and getting blood all over the place.

i was talking to my mom last night and my kids were crowding me - giving me bunny ears and licking my face (ew!), crawling to the top of the couch and jumping into my lap (yes, that hurts), and fighting and screaming and telling me so and so did this or that. i told my mom just before i got off the phone, "remember those cows we'd see at grandma's house. well, i remember watching the baby cows come up to the mama cow and the mama cow would nudge them away. i always thought the mama cows were so mean. but, i get them now. they just wanted some freaking space."

i am naive in the fact that i try to reason and have a heart to heart talk with the toddler about my feelings  and the damage she is doing to my self-esteem as a mother. it seems to work with my 8 and 6 year old. the toddler blows raspberries in my face in response to my outpouring.

sometimes i brush my hair and most times i'm in flip flops and booger-smeared yoga pants. my hands stick to tables and my feet stick to floors and crumbs. and i hate properly capitalizing my words because it takes too damn long - because in the amount of time i'm pressing the shift key - my toddlers are probably out the door, or somehow locking me out of one. and by the sound of things, so far, it would seem i'm incredibly guilty of child neglect.

who's watching these crazy kids anyway?!

speaking of which...

some time between the time i was watching her and the time i wasn't, i go upstairs to my bedroom and it has been ransacked - you'd think i'd been robbed.

and you'd be right. because actually, today, i'm missing a wad of cash and my keys.

my purse is completely empty except for a few crumbs of old toddler snacks, i'm sure.

i've spent my morning overturning couch cushions and mattresses, looking under car seats, and in the dark corners of pantries and basements.

and here is whatever little tidbit of wisdom i've gathered so far as a mother.

there are going to be days of perfect, of kisses, of hugs, of happy, of cute faces smeared in chocolate, of babies talking their first talk, and it all makes me feel so alive and so completely fabulous.

and then there's today, when my sole purpose is damage control and anger control, and i just have to turn on mickey mouse clubhouse and let my kids fry their brains in front of the t.v. screen, run away to my bedroom and write all this out because i don't have my keys or my wad of cash, because all i want to do is zone out and watch a movie, or better yet - watch an episode of "the real housewives of something or other" to make myself feel better...

cuddled up with a pile of hostess cupcakes beside me, and one in my hand, of course.

but there's one thing i'm missing.

those damn keys.

****

oh yeah, the rest of the advice...it gets better. if i didn't already know that with the two older ones, i think i'd be having a nervous breakdown now. but all this toddler stuff, i'll survive it, and someday look back as i eat my hostess cupcake, and i'll be glad i relished it all...

and so will you.

our day:

"keys!! wheh ah you?? cah out, cah out, wheh eva you ah!"

the baby was pretty upset when he found out his "pewter" was a phony.

get outta here, ya phony!

dinner time.

and bath time to follow...

the end.

summer days are numbered...

this is how we get ready for the day...

she swam down the stairs.

i swear she had clothes on this morning.

when dad came home from work, we all headed over to the school open house to meet the new teachers and see the new classrooms.

isaiah is pretty excited he gets to have a locker again.

the new desk in mrs. stritmatter's class.

3rd grade, here he comes!

makayah's new class is actually a door down from her kindergarten class from last year!

she's pretty stoked as well.

first grade, here she comes!

we've been hanging out and enjoying the last days of summer.

we still have a week before schools starts.

and we want to soak up all the lazy days as much as possible.

i think we're just going to hang out on the trampoline all day long and pretend that the housework doesn't exist.

this is probably one of my most favorite times of the day.

reading harry potter with isaiah has been so much fun.

the end.

Procrastination

i'm supposed to be packing.

we're moving across the country with 4 young children, and i really should be making preparations.

instead, i decide to pull out my sewing junk and make leggings for the girls.

and then we all went outside to make forts and clubhouses.

we wrote love notes and i played the mail person and delivered them to everyone.

i really should be cleaning, but this seemed more important.

mimzy woke from her nap earlier than she should have.

and now she's grumpy.

she didn't want me to take a picture of her.

but, i finally relented and forced myself and the kids back inside to get something done.

after many tears and lots of whining about having to do chores, isaiah and makayah helped me make ratatouille. they think family cooking is fun.

i wish it were.

i'm amazed i kept my cool through all the cooking - i'm making progress.

if it were as easy as taking turns...

but then i throw a knife in the mix and everyone wants to chop, and that's just a disaster waiting to happen. luckily, it didn't. and everyone got to chop something.

oh boy, somebody pass me a bucket of ice cream...

and whenever something needs to get done...

these babies need some kind of distraction.

i'm excited to move, but the actual process can be so overwhelming to the point that i become paralyzed and all i want to do is eat a sweet treat and watch t.v.

it's also pretty tricky, since i have to still keep out many things for us to function for school and work and eating for the next month.

what do i pack? what do i leave out?

what do i clean that won't be messed up right after i clean it?

oh well...

here's to moving!

just like heaven

i hope they have brown rice pancakes in heaven,

with peaches and honeyed greek yogurt.

i could eat these all day long.

there's this picture of a piece of toast, just hanging out on our refrigerator door.

winking.

with a gob of buttah melting down his forehead.

just chillin' with his bellybutton hanging out in a pair of chic skinny jeans...

made just for pieces of toast.

i love sundays. we're a very religious family and you can usually find us chasing down our children in the chapel halls. on the not-so-usual sundays, we are elsewhere.

it has been a challenge dragging ourselves out of bed, stuffing crying children into stiff church clothes, scavenging for shoes and combs, and anything to eat as we run out of the door on our way to church during our time in sparta.

we live in a small branch and our children, for the most part, make up the entire primary class and nursery. it's hard.

we spend the majority of our time in the relief society room supervising the sitting still, listening of talks through the loud speaker, and basic rules of being reverent.

if we're not in the relief society, you can find our children crammed in the nursery while sam and i listen to the sacrament meeting. the members in our branch are sweet and say things like, "oh, we don't mind your children, why aren't you in the chapel?"

because, WE mind them. i don't like having to chase them all over the place. it's just simply easier for me to contain them in a small room without a podium and a microphone. thank you, but no thanks.

as much as i love sundays, and as much as i'd love to love sundays all the time - the mornings are stressful, and leave me feeling put out and frustrated, and like not a good person at all.

yelling at kids is not my preferred method of worship.

shocker, right?

but, it's really just inevitable that some kidlet is going to have a meltdown, and unrealistic for me to think i can paste a smile to my face and be happy about carrying a kicking and screaming child to the car. because, no, that doesn't make me happy, and actually kinda makes me feel the opposite.

so, on the days we want to actually put all the lessons on love, gratitude, and family into practice on a beautiful sunday day, we go out to explore the amazing creations around us.

i truly love sundays like this.

we wake up when we wake up, and greet the sun with smiles.

our tummies are happy and filled with the goodness of the earth and we give praise and thanks.

we hug and snuggle, and we have time for it all.

we get dressed and head out for a sunday drive through green hills and lush trees beneath bright, blue skies.

we drove around looking for a place to park ourselves and found one.

if jesus wants us for his sunbeams, this was the place to prance and twirl and dance around like one.

the water was warm and inviting.

it's nice to have time to adore these beautiful creatures of mine.

mosiah wasn't too keen on getting wet. but he did admire the sparkling lake from the sandy beach.

this boy makes my heart burst.

who let's their kids go skinny dipping in lakes?

that would be us.

he found an icky old water gun. he didn't care and made gun noises almost the entire time.

crazy kid.

we laughed, we splashed, we ran along the beach barefoot - enjoying the way the sand squished between our toes. we made homemade rafts and sandcastles. the kids threw wet sand into the air, thankfully missing eyeballs, but most definitely plopping on top of heads.

we fished, we explored, we held our breath as we entered the park bathrooms, and cuddled up in the blankets, drying off and warming up.

we talked, we reminisced.

we dreamed and held each other tight.

today was perfect.

if this is what heaven is all about, sign me up.

the end.

going home

i distinctly remember a snippet of time when i was in 3rd grade. i was sitting on the standard blue school carpet in mrs. enfield's class. it must've been free time and i was playing a "name the states" game with my friend. the wooden board map of the u.s. was out in front of me and i had to name wisconsin and it's capitol. this was back when i knew all the states and their capitols.

moving to wisconsin was on a whim. never in our life did we ever think we'd make a life here, and tackle some of our biggest life goals in a place i had only ever heard about on commercials about sad wisconsin cows and how the happy cows live in california.

we moved to wisconsin without having a place to live and everything fell magically into place.

it was hard at first, settling in and saying goodbye to our former home in utah,

it always is.

but as the months went by, and the friends were made, and i discovered my favorite places to buy groceries, or who to take the kids to for dr. appts, or where to have my ultrasounds...

wisconsin became familiar. wisconsin became home.

some of our very best memories are in madison. it was really our first time living together without family in our basement. don't get me wrong, we loved having our brothers' company and their willingness to babysit at any hour. but there was something really special about our newfound independence. it was our time to bond, it was our time to really get to know each other. after all, madison was where our fun friday traditions began.

there were zoos, there were museums, lakes, camping, "swiss villages", restaurants from around the world with only a walk down state street. there were liberals, there were conservatives, there were independents - all in healthy numbers. there were saturday farmers markets, and everything was within 10 minutes of where we lived.

but the thing that really blew us away were the people. the people in wisconsin are amazing. it wasn't very difficult to make life-long friends here.

i was relieved when we got a job in sparta when sam was finished with law school. a year ago, i wasn't ready to leave just yet. we were still close enough to madison, yet far enough away to get used to the idea of leaving wisconsin within our two year time frame since sam's job only allowed for that long.

and we were still close enough to all our family in green bay. 

we weren't ready to say goodbye to them either.

sparta was very small and not like madison at all. however, its small town charm did seem to capture us, and we felt we could slow down and really soak in the days. i'm not gonna lie, i bawled my eyes out as we waved goodbye to our dear friends and our old home in madison.

it's a tedious job to have to make new friends, find new doctors, register in a new school, set up silly things like internet and utility junk, all while trying to unpack boxes.

and the kids still missed madison and their old friends. so did i.

i missed the familiarity, i missed my routine, i missed the easiness of it all.

but a year has passed, and our neighbors are more amazing than we ever could have hoped for.

i worried about the transition to a new school, and in the end, it all turned out just fine.

this summer has been a dream, with adventurous weekends and lazy weekdays - time enough to recover from our wisconsin bucket list and just hang out with the neighbors.

we had so much more time to focus on being a family and working better together as a family.

sparta has been so good for us.

and now the time to finally leave wisconsin has come...

and somehow, i'm not quite sure how to feel about it.

when we found out sam got the job in arizona, we were ecstatic. this is what we had been praying for all along. so why do i feel so mixed up?

i am thrilled at the idea of being closer to my family. i am beyond excited to hang out with my best, good, childhood friends again. it is going to be like heaven to be within a days drive to our family in slc, st. george, and phoenix. we're a stone's throw away from southern california and las vegas. everything seems so perfect, even the kids can't stop talking about it.

and more than that, this is a stellar career opportunity for sam.

i really tried not to get too attached, especially knowing that our stay was only temporary, but i will miss this place. i'll miss my running trails, the red barns dotting the highways, the rolling hills blanketed with lush trees and grass, the way the fog rolls in, the amish buggies parked at the grocery store, the months of downpours and how we would dance in the rain. i'll especially miss the way the fireflies bobbed over the yard on summer nights.

i'll miss the neighbor kids running through my house, and the way they made my children throw their heads back and laugh.

and i'm sure, after the moving van is packed full with boxes, and the place we once called home is empty...i'm sure i'll be bawling my eyes out once again. because no matter how much i tried not to get too attached, it's hard not to feel something for a place you really let yourself live life in.

but i can't be too sad for too long. i'm going home.

and it's nice to have so many of those now.

the end.

wedding shenanigans

things always seem to go out of wack when i decide to make plans.

we had a wedding to attend in minnesota this afternoon, and i thought it would be nice to meet up with another one of my dear friends for lunch at ikea before the wedding.

the kids had other plans.

samiyah found the garage door open and ran away.

the older kids didn't want to do their chores.

and while i texted my sister about thanksgiving plans, this little guy dumped hair conditioner all over his freshly dressed self.

don't text and raise children.

and don't make plans and tell your children.

although we left two hours later than we had planned and wanted to, we did end up having a lovely drive to chisago lake. 

there were cool little towns along the mississippi.

our friends who were getting married are both from law school. after they graduated with sam, they moved to lacrosse, and our friend lindsey actually works in sparta.

we've had them over for movies and oscar night.

they are fun people and ed makes a mean batch of double chocolate brownies.

we arrived in the middle of the forrest, surrounded by cabins.

i was disappointed that i hadn't thought of camping out there the night before, or even that very night.

darn.

mimzy, just taking a stroll.

ed and lindsey.

it was a beautiful wedding, and they were such a sweet and gorgeous couple.

all during the ceremony, sam and i were in the back rows, trying to maintain the peace.

we were at the table with other law school friends, and we had such a great time talking, er, shouting across the table over the loud buzz of the room and the even louder shouts from the kids. 

actually before the actual dinner...sam and tanya's bf, isaiah, and isaiah our kid, all chowed down on pig's head. seriously. tanya and i just stood there, watching, and laughing, covering our faces as drew attention from the other guests.

it was such a blast. twinkle lights and chocolate mints kinda have that effect.

and this kid. no need to be fancy. his shirt was a bib for all things chocolate, bbq, and cupcake.

the end.