i'm not a circus performer, but...

Monday

these days i'm learning how to juggle.

one kid - difficult. learning how to be a mom for me was not the easiest of tasks. i thought sleepless nights and nursing a baby would all just come naturally. it didn't help that i also had to figure all this new mom stuff out while recovering from an emergency c-section. but in the end, isaiah and i made it out okay. isaiah has always been one of my most easiest and obedient children. i'm glad my frantic, overprotective, overbearing, and too-proud-to-ask-for-help new mommy status didn't do too much damage. i loved becoming a new mother, but i'm glad i don't have to revisit that stage again.

two kids - first off, i had always heard that two kids was one of the more challenging transitions. if not two, then three would be it. although isaiah and makayah were fairly close in age, isaiah was extremely careful and gentle with his new baby sister. two turned out to be so much easier than just one child, especially when makayah was old enough to really play with isaiah. plus, i came to find out that the second c-section recovery was so much easier and faster.

three kids - piece of cake. really. i had been bracing myself since the two kid transition was as easy as it turned out to be. but with the age differences and the two older ones in kindergarten and preschool, it felt like i only had one child at home. samiyah was a dream baby. three kids? pfft, what's the big deal? ;)

four kids - whoa! in all honesty, i was not expecting four children to be as hard as it is. baby mosiah is absolutely and amazingly still perfect. he eats well, sleeps well, and doesn't cry much at all. in fact, he just kind of whimpers like a little puppy, which i think is completely adorable. so yeah, four kids. the two older kids are quite helpful and i actually really need them around. maybe it's not juggling four kids all together that turns out to be difficult...it's not even the youngest two. it's more like chasing after the 18 month old while holding an infant in one arm that is the trickiest of tricks - that, and i only have ONE lap to share between four little bottoms.

thankfully, all the children are in love with their new baby brother. on the flip side, samiyah - although intrigued and smitten by this newest and littlest sibling of hers (whom she just can't stop holding and doesn't want to let go of...) has her emotions running in two different directions. on the one hand, she loves him (fiercely), and on the other, she's mostly upset at me, mommy - for seemingly abandoning her to have this baby. abandoning her during bedtime snuggles because i'm not strong enough to hold her yet. abandoning her during owies, car trips, and all other happenings in which i'm needed to carry her - all because of dumb doctor's orders which she just can't comprehend.

just two days ago, i discovered isaiah was also having a difficult time. he, above all, had been thrilled about his baby brother. he has been the most helpful and loving brother, which is probably why i failed to notice anything else. after some talks with both isaiah and makayah, sam and i decided that we needed to do something more, something special with each of the kids, individually. although they loved their new sibling, the transition was still new and different and hard on their little persons. this is where the true art of juggling comes into play. i've never been very good at juggling, literally and figuratively. but, i'm hoping that these special daddy/daughter, daddy/son, mommy/daughter, mommy/son dates will help ease us through this transition.

as each day passes, it becomes easier and easier to juggle each one and their tender feelings. i've let go of lots of unimportant fluff in my daily schedule so i can find the time to make each one of my kids feel special, which is why i've slacked on my blog postings. the fact that i can now drive once again improves the situation tremendously. i am now capable of holding and carrying samiyah as well. things are looking up between her and i. 

and baby mosiah? well, he's just happy to be here. he's a pretty great little brother and has been very patient about his feedings and such, because he knows that sometimes, mommy just can't feed everyone at once, have four laps for simultaneous snuggles, and plain and simple - lacks any sort of superhuman powers to alleviate everyone's cries and complaints at one time. sigh...it's hard NOT to feel like i'm utterly failing at this most times.

we're busy finding a new "normal. " and however rocky it has been thus far, i think we can all agree - it's been so very worth it to have our family of six. in about 6 months when law school is over, when samiyah learns the true meaning of 'gentle,' when summer is in full swing, and mommy's tummy is completely healed and has returned to full strength - we'll get our groove back.

i just have one question...

how in the world do parents have more than four children and find the time to give them their individualized attention? i guess it's just one of those fine arts you learn over time...

today i am grateful for:

*hugs and kisses from each of my babies

*increased strength and the ability to carry and hold my poor mimzy who has a difficult time understanding why mommy can't do things like she used to.

*the extra energy and time i found to catch up on some housework and blog posts... and this little gem:

isaiah was sam's study buddy today. he's catching up on some "diary of the wimpy kid."

*sweet slumber. goodnight.

sunday relaxation

okay, so it wasn't exactly a day of relaxation, or quiet, or calm, for that matter. sundays almost never consist of those things when you have a house full of hooligans you're trying to chase down and dress.

but, at least it started out calm enough.

mosiah is so peaceful in the mornings.

poor mimzy had a rough time of it though.

i'm usually not big on plugging my kids in, but muppets always seem to calm mimzy down and bring a smile back to her face. sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do.

james came over for a visit. lesson learned for the day: never hold a famished baby, he just might try to pull in close and nurse you - whether you're his mom or not.

the end.

april showers bring baby showers

Saturday

our amazing friend, tru, threw mosiah a baby shower. she looks for any excuse to have a party. ;)

and, i've got to say, she knows how to throw them.

friends are lovely.

mosiah and sir.

a disheveled mimzy and cassandra.

mosiah and james.

mike, jeanine, jini, tru, and mims.

mimzy's energy was mostly used up in flirting with this handsome boy, oskar.

the beautifully creative decorations, and it really was raining this morning, too.

the laughter could not be contained. jeanine was cracking jokes, unintentionally, left and right.

laughter, good convos, good people, and sweet treats all add up to great parties. it was a blast.

looks like someone got into the blue frosting...

elia, sid and gavin, and ms. charleston also made their appearance. thank you all so much for creating such a wonderful celebration.

when the cake was gone, and good food snatched up, the party died down and the guests trickled out the door, we also headed out with sid and gavin.

gavin played an amazing game of basketball. i only hope that isaiah is as tall as he gets to be. ;)

another pow wow, this time at MATC.

with all that went on today, the kids were happily exhausted - after all, it was 11pm by the time we came home.

baths and pictures before bedtime.

i can feel the love. :)

busy at the courthouse

Friday

it's been almost a week since my mom has left. i'm not gonna lie, i was pretty nervous when i was left on my own. the only other time i felt like this was when my mom had to leave after helping me with newborn isaiah.

as luck would have it, everyone was due for a visit to the doctor's office this week.

sam was busy with last classes and projects.

wednesday.

first up: makayah.

she was due for her kindergarten visit. it was my first time venturing out with the three kids on my own. makayah did so well during her visit up until the nurse came in to give her her immunizations. she had her teddy bear in hand, and i held her tight. but hugs and teddy bears were no match for needles. makayah freaked out. luckily, the nurse was lightning fast - seriously. after tears were wiped and hugs were given, i rounded up my crazy little bunch and drove back home.

the doctor's office is only a 3 minute drive down the road from our house (right across our chapel). as i drove down segoe road, passing isaiah's elementary school along the way, "drive by" playing in the background, the sunshine glittering through the spring leaves, my throat tightened and my eyes stung with the threat of tears.

my mind raced through memory after memory.

i thought of makayah when she was a baby getting her first shots - and now, getting shots in preparation for kindergarten.

i thought of isaiah in his own little world of math blocks, recess, and classmates - his own little world that i'm not a part of.

and as the song played and mentioned sante fe - i thought of sam being gone, and then just so happy for him to be home. i couldn't do this all alone.

i looked around at the quaint and beautiful charlie brown street i was driving down. i thought of having to move from this perfect little town and moving away from all our dear friends and family.

agh! i took a few deep breaths and blinked the sting away from my eyes, and swallowed hard. i didn't think i'd be so sad about the possibility of moving from madison.

the rest of the day we watched makayah's special movie she picked out after her doctor's visit, and we just chilled out.

thursday.

next up: baby mosiah.

the thought of taking all three kids to the doctor's office again was not too thrilling. thank my lucky stars, sam didn't have class until after noon. he took mosiah while i hung out with the girls.

baby mo is in tip top shape and now weighs 9 lbs. 12 oz. and measures 22 inches. 

friday.

last up for this week: me.

today was sam's last day interning at the dane county courthouse. there was no way way he could watch the kids while i went in for my appt. in my younger mommy days, back when i was 23, i would have tried to do it myself and would have been too proud or scared to ask for help. not anymore. ;) my lovely friend and visiting teacher had offered to watch my children if ever i needed her to. i gave her a call and she graciously took the girls off my hands. thank you W!!

my appointment only lasted 30 minutes and i'm sure if i had all three kids with me, it would have been triple that length of time.

just getting this girly out the door is an even in itself!

sidetracked: bunny chasing!

after the doctor's visit, i picked up the girls, picked up isaiah and we made our way to visit the judge sam has been working for this entire semester.

everyone was super nice and friendly, most especially the judge, who gave us a quick tour of the courtroom and holding cells.

mosiah was a hit.

he also surprised the kids with small stuffed animals. so sweet.

the kids roamed the floors gawking at how high up we were. we had a pretty great view of downtown madison.

today i am grateful for:

*friends who watch my crazy kids. :)

*our amazing doctors and nurses. i am really, really going to miss them.

*healthy kids.

i like these simple happy days

Thursday

our days are filled with simple and happy things.

driving the kids to school through our charlie brown neighborhoods.

picking up a bite to eat at the noodle place for lunch.

and playing dress-up. makayah scored these incredible pair of pineapple glasses at a birthday party for her friend, gabby, last night. 

a ride in the country

Wednesday

today was a perfectly gorgeous day to go on a bike ride with daddy.

isaiah needed a little father and son time.

this kid is growing so fast, he's going to need a new and bigger bike soon!

i heard isaiah was an excellent rider. they had so much fun together. so much, in fact, that it was way past bedtime when they returned home.

and just in time to give this little guy his shower.

sometimes...

Tuesday

sometimes all we want to do is play with little mo.

sometimes he likes it.

sometimes he gets a little bored with our silly faces.

sometimes, we just like playing with his squidgy toes.

but most times, he is sleeping.

he sleeps a lot.

when he is sleeping, sometimes we get to play with homemade playdoh...

yes, i said, "homemade." (sometimes, i feel like superwoman).

sometimes, we eat it, but mostly, we only play with it.

sometimes, we make really grand things like rainbows.

sometimes, we even squeeze in a little mane maintenance with a bit of blowdryer help from little sisters.

but most times, we are watching muppets on tv. 

sometimes, mimzy will sing along and dance.

sometimes, this is when mommy gets dinner done, or can take a break to feed the baby.

but most times, we just watch to keep mimzy out of trouble...