chicken wings and costco...

Friday

just another fun friday for the crowfoots...

chicken wings and costco make for a pretty perfect day. :)

a look back as i take a step forward...

i'm thirty-seven weeks measuring at 38. i have a little less than 2 weeks until go time. and the weight scale and i are still not friends.

i remember when i was in kindergarten, staring wide-eyed at the older kids - the middle schoolers, the high schoolers - looking at their thick literature and math textbooks, and thinking they were so smart. i thought to myself, 'how am i ever going to be as smart? i can barely read for crying out loud!' it really was intimidating.

but then, i found that each grade just built upon the last. and yes, in each grade, the content was challenging enough to keep me engaged, yet doable, just as it should be.

i find myself reminiscing about this far away memory as i prepare to have baby number 4. holy smokes! baby number FOUR?! how did this happen, when did the time fly right past me? where did all my babies and their baby chub go? 

when isaiah was just born, i looked at other mothers with their multiple children and thought, "how in the world?" but, as i've taken this long journey through motherhood - all of it's ups and downs, the tears, the joy, the challenges, the triumphs, the mistakes, the lucking out, the eating of humble pie, and the amazing feeling as i look into each of their faces that despite all the ups and downs - that i could not imagine life without them. i never knew i could love another person as much as i love them. and the most amazing part is, this love just seems to grow everyday. another baby? bring it on. ;)

i understand now that motherhood is just a bunch of building blocks. it's a huge relief to know that isaiah and makayah are old enough to help out with housework and baby stuff. the main point...i won't be doing this all by myself. whew.

i could not have come to this point in motherhood without the time that has passed. i will admit, that once upon a time i was a new mom know-it-all. actually, i think it began even before i had kids. oh yes, my kids would be perfect. i handled a classroom full of 3-4 year olds with excellent ease and patience. i got them to listen and obey, i created brilliant lesson plans that, in turn, made my students even more brilliant with happy exclamations and praise from their parents. yes, those 30+ students of mine LOVED me. so, why wouldn't i have perfect children? what's the big deal? pfft, ONE kid, TWO kids, FOUR? piece of cake....c'mon, i was dealing with 30. i took parenting classes and children psychology classes in order to graduate for crying out loud. i knew it all.

or so i thought.

i had an idealized version of labor and birth in my head. didn't happen. i had an idealized version of the mother i was going to be, except that i never planned on being so tired and overwhelmed - or feeling a tad resentful of becoming a milking cow. i never planned on making mistakes, but i did. karma is a bitch. however, the Lord showed pity upon my pitiful self, and felt inclined to pour upon me His tender mercies and blessed me with one of the best friends i've ever had. 

i was a new mom, three or four weeks out (i can't quite remember, it's all such a blur). i was tired and sore, and still recovering. sam and i and our new baby boy went to the ward thanksgiving or christmas dinner (again, a blur). anyhow, isaiah wasn't fussing, but he did want to be held. at the time, i wasn't very familiar with amanda. she had an older child (3) and that's probably why we never hung out...i hadn't yet joined the ranks of motherhood. despite not knowing me, she came and held isaiah for the duration of the meal so i could eat in peace. that small act of kindness meant the world to me and has led to a wonderfully long-lasting friendship between us and our families.

since that ward get-together, she has always been someone to lean on, vent to, ask advice, have lunch and play dates with, and she made me laugh - which is downright essential as a mother. there was never any judgement, only understanding. and as both our families grew, it was nice to turn to someone who knew better than i.

in my ignorant and naive youth, i have made many judgements. the thing i never knew is that at some point, i'd be eating my own words. don't get me wrong, i'm not at all regretful or upset at how this mothering has all been laid out so far. as i look back, i'm grateful things didn't go as i planned. i'm grateful for the challenges, for the mistakes and eventually the fix-ups. i'm grateful because all of these experiences have definitely made me a better mother. i'm more patient, more loving, more aware of how fragile and precious life really is. and because of awesome examples of my fellow mother friends, i am now more understanding and less judgmental.

yes, i still get those judging eyes. but, i shrug my shoulders and laugh it off. i'm not a perfect mother - especially in the eyes of those who have no idea of what my life and kids are like. and that's okay. i'm still learning and i'd like to think that everyone else is still learning, too.

by the way, did i mention i'm soooooooo ready for this baby to come? 

today i am grateful for:

*a healthy baby. he's still measuring big, and though i'm not quite sure what to think about that, i am glad he's growing the way he should.

*excellent friends like amanda.

*ice cream.

sleepy sippies and sleepless nights

Thursday

this makes me smile.

this made me a little worried, until i found out that this had nothing to do with me. whew.

this makes me happy - mostly because i used to do this as a kid. :) that's my boy.

mommy guilt and baby chicks...

wednesday.

lately, i've been feeling quite guilty. most days i begin the day with a good amount of energy. by the end of the day i am lying on the couch with my eyes half open trying to figure out where i am. okay, it's not that bad, but by 6pm, i'm struggling to keep things running. i'm super duper grateful that sam has had the time to come home in the evenings and help me out with feeding the kids, giving them showers, and putting them to bed. recently, this evening routine has been daunting and overwhelming to me and my very pregnant self, especially since moving/bending/lifting has become almost impossible. i don't know what i'd do without him.

anyway, back to the beginning...i've been feeling rather guilty. i like doing things. i like making things. i like having things in order. i like planning activities for my kids. i like having something to show for my day. so, when i crash on the couch and the most i've been able to do for the entire 15 hours is remember to feed the kids - i feel like a failure.

other times, i feel like i need to pack in as much fun for the kids as i possibly can before the baby takes up all my time. i want to shower them with attention and affection so they can have a store of memories, knowing that before mommy was so engrossed with the little dude - that mommy really did care and take the time to show them a good time. 

some days, i can pull this off. some days, activities and plans are delayed because mommy is just too tired.

this afternoon, i crashed. i had to use the good ol' t.v. to babysit as i passed out on the couch, "cuddling" with my two girls as they watched their cartoons - educational, at least. 2:30 approached, and it was time to get ready to pick up isaiah. i literally had to peel myself off the couch. i managed to pack up the girls and pick up isaiah. i had told the kids the other day that we'd go to the children's museum to see the newly hatched baby chicks. they hadn't forgotten.

luckily, sam needed to be picked up from work, downtown, right after i picked up isaiah. perfect. i asked sam if he was up for a quick visit to the CM (which was right around the corner). he was. perfect, again! i don't think i could've done it all by myself. it turned out to be a fun visit. 

the baby chicks - hatched yesterday!

mimzy loved the baby chicks. :)



baby turtles.



so cute.



after checking out the babies on the rooftop, isaiah and makayah frolicked in the rooftop garden.
well, really, they wanted to jump into the stream...i'm glad they didn't.

mimzy came dangerously close to the mini waterfall. 

mimzy also checked out the big chickens.

awestruck by chicken fluttering.

the "cluck, cluck" of chickens make us laugh.

watch your fingers!

there are so many fun things at the museum....

like this weird slapophone. ;) 

...and really cool buttons. this is genius. in almost every elevator we go into, mims begs to push the buttons. and for some reason, the elevator people thought that placing the emergency call buttons within todders' reach was a good idea. needless to say, mimzy was in heaven. she could push all the buttons she wanted - and they all made the coolest noises. awesome.

the CM also has this super cool water house. they could play in here all day long.

thank goodness for water aprons.

experimenting with shapes and sizes.

more measuring cups. 

playing in water is such a treat. 

we love the children's museum. i've tried to take the kids at least once a month last year. i think this has been our first visit this year. oh well, at least we made it. 

i know it won't be long before everything has settled and we're all going on fun outings again. but i still worry - needlessly, i'm sure - that with all the moving, graduation celebrations, and newborn baby attention-giving, my kids may feel neglected. if only there were two of me.

there may not be two of me, but i am so grateful for the many offers of help from my wonderful friends. it's extremely comforting. thanks, friends! :) 

Spring days

i'm sorry, isaiah. i promise you were part of this day. whenever you come home, you run straight to the backyard to play while i make dinner and such, that i just don't get very many opportunities to photograph you. so, i just want you to know, although this post is heavy in the mimsy and makayah poses - i love you tons and tons and tons. and even if there aren't any photos to document, you had an immense amount of fun with your friend, tristine, and your sister, makayah, running around in your clubhouses in the backyard. :)

so, on with the post.

i've been trying to be really good. more juicing, more fruits, more veggies. this smoothie was pretty yummy. the kids loved it and claimed it as their new favorite. it is a pineapple, mango, orange, banana smoothie mixed with a little almond milk.

i have a little copycat.

she saw me grab my purse before heading out to take makayah to school. so, she grabbed her own little "purse."

she's way too cute.

i love all of makayah's creations she brings home from preschool. unfortunately, we don't have room enough for everything - especially projects like these, so photos come in handy. plus, i think she devoured it as soon as i took the photo. if you can't tell, it's a bagel tomb with a donut hole boulder, with a picture of jesus outside of the tomb, and marshmallow flowers in the lush coconut grass.

i love my pookie bear.

so, i actually realized these are two separate days. so here is the other day:

makayah got dressed, came out, and asked, "mom, do i look like a B-Girl?"

you know, like a b-boy? after my enthusiastic yes, she began breakdancing in the living room. most definitely a b-girl. ;)

i needed a paper signed by sam. we look for any excuse to meet up with daddy and have lunch. 

lunch at five guys? yes, please!

mmm, bananas and french fries. okay, the french fries were mostly for eating the ketchup.

makayah's thank-you. flowers. :)

isaiah's been super busy with his cub scouts. it's become a father/son thing, and he's loving it!

isaiah's amazing ninja kicks butt!

somehow, he still makes room to study.

we love when he comes home...

...and helps unpack the baby stuff for me. ;)

as well as organizing the storage. thanks, hon.

with this pregnancy taking it's toll on my body - i am grateful for these perfect days when i have the energy to make things fun for my babies.

Sunshine and Ice Cream Cones

Sunday

in an attempt to keep mimzy asleep for her sunday afternoon nap, we went out for ice cream. i know, we were bad.

she's so sweet when she's sleeping.

cherry-dipped. it was so good! sam took some really great photos of the kids.

on a side note: 

we've been busy juicing. we love juicing. this particular juice had some cabbage and carrots that i was hoping the fruit would hide. but, as soon as the kids tasted the juice, they asked, "did you add cabbage and carrots?"

they still drank it all up. juicing is great for using up all those leftover veggies, too. ;)

isaiah has been doing a fantastic job on his spelling tests. 

his "leprechaun day" picture. :D

makayah's leprechaun day painting. :D

lately, sam's been going biking with the kids since the weather is so nice. the other great thing is, i get some time to myself to finish projects, or just relax. the kids have been having a blast.

mims getting ready for the ride...

in all her biking anticipation, she forgot to put some clothes on.

it's warm enough outside, anyway.

on second thought...

i love biking days because they come home completely exhausted. thanks, daddy.