no more good-byes

this weekend was packed full of exciting events for our little family...but the important stuff (like sam's graduation) i will leave for him to tell. the grandparents have gone and the house is empty. the only noise in the entire place is that of mugsy our pug, snorrrring. i must say, it feels rather lonely. everything was going so quick, running here, running there....doing this, doing that. and now, time has seemed to stop. what should i do now? anyway, earlier today we had the opportunity to visit sam's great aunt liz. she has been diagnosed with cancer in her brain. we wanted to go and see her today, so we packed up and headed to her home just 15 minutes away. all i can say is, she is one of the most sweetest, funniest people i have ever known. she really is a jewel. it was the first time she had seen makayah and she couldn't stop nibbling on her toes and on her chubby cheeks (i couldn't blame her...makayah is a rather juicy little thing). aunt liz held her close as makayah cooed and talked her baby talk...aunt liz said, "i can feel the joy and happiness coming back to me through her...she is giving me strength, i can feel it!" makayah beamed at aunt liz, smiling and giggling the entire time we were there. it was such a precious moment. we all talked and told stories. aunt liz and uncle herb relayed some of their adventures while serving on their mission in armenia, as well as the nightmare when they found they had to return immediately back home to utah to begin treatment for aunt liz. as we left, we all gave aunt liz a hug and a kiss (even makayah and isaiah- though rather slobbery). when i hugged and kissed her, she pulled me close and said, "i am so glad sam married you! we are so blessed to have you in our family, you are a rare jewel. sam did good to marry you. i want you to know, that you are a great mother and that your children are special, they are so full of life and they are gonna be somebody someday - i just know it! when i got back from armenia, i thought, 'i'm worthless now!' but then i saw my children and their families...and i thought, 'no, i'm not worthless! my children have brought meaning to my life and they have made my life worth living.' monika, always remember your worth. it is your great blessing to be a mother to these children. i love you so much!" i balled my eyes out the entire time. i can't put into words the great love and admiration i have for her...and how special she made me feel. and i just can't imagine that this could be good-bye. i didn't want to think about it. so i wiped my tears and mascara off my cheeks, blew my nose said 'i love you' and hugged her as long as i could. the rest of the day was quite uneventful until my good and very dear friend marshelda called and reminded me that it was 'ladies night' tonight. so, sam and i took the kids, went to costco, and then to hollywood video to get some movies for sam to watch while i was out. but as we spilled out of our monster car....we had discovered that makayah had an explosion in her pants. agh! times like these, i'm glad that sam is around...thank goodness for teamwork! so we somehow, breezed through the stinky mess, stripped our baby girl, rented our movies, and went on our merry way back home...except for me. i was dropped off at "the pizza factory" where me and my homegirls were gonna have dinner. the 'clucking' (as sam likes to call it) and disruptive laughter was just what i needed. then we all came back to my place after stuffing ourselves silly...only to begin playing with mary kay makeup and skin products. marshelda and marilee did such a wonderful job of decreasing my inventory (sam says i have to sell it all before we move...IF we move). and after they left, and the house was silent once again...i felt sad about the thought of moving. marshelda has been my friend for 8 long years, ever since my freshman year at byu. our close mutual friends, candi and revina, have moved away. one by one, our crazy group has grown smaller, and smaller. the picture attached to this blog, is one of my friends and i. now we're down to two...me and mars. i almost don't want to move now. in fact, i will almost be relieved if we don't have to move out of provo. i guess we'll see. i'm beginning to really hate 'goodbyes.' on the brighter side of things...i am looking forward to a long-awaited "hello!" to my incredible brother, darrell, who is returning from his LDS mission in spain. he has yet to meet his niece, makayah...and i just can't wait! i am counting down the days.