the trouble with training

monday

it's been darn near impossible getting back to my former self after this last and fourth (and final) child of mine. it all seemed so easy and effortless to train for a marathon when i only had two kids and grandparents at my beck and call. four years later: double that number of needy mouths, piles of laundry, winter depression, and the constant desire to stuff my face with donuts...and it's all rather hopeless.

i officially registered for the chicago rock n' roll half marathon this july in a feeble attempt to motivate me. okay, so maybe motivation isn't my problem. i'm motivated. i don't care so much about being skinny, i mean, i love stretchy pants. who doesn't like stretchy pants? i could live in stretchy pants.

but i do really miss being strong. with this third kid there is a requirement that i am capable of outrunning her in any circumstance along with having enough upper body strength to carry her 20 pound frame (which really seems like 100 when she starts to try to wriggle free) with one arm whilst also carrying the fat baby with the other. i'm motivated, the safety of my crazy bunch and my sanity depends on it.

hmm, so what is it exactly? if i could choose to run everyday, all day, i would. but i can't.

people say, just MAKE time for it. ppftt! easy. i was doing this all wrong. i just have to MAKE time.

oh, but wait. i also have to MAKE time for:

poopy diapers,

dirty laundry (currently in the process of teaching the older kids to do it themselves - but that actually takes up MORE time),

making dinner (although we could just eat out everyday, but that would really defeat the purpose of a more healthy lifestyle, shoot!), 

teething babies,

ear aches,

other miscellaneous owies,

showering and bathing my little persons,

ugh - dishes,

wiping up spilled milk and food by mimzy, and others such disasters.

oh my gosh. just looking at this list is making me tired. by the end of a typical day of cleaning, wiping, bathing, hugging, kissing, playing, chauffeuring, cooking, whining, refereeing, and drowning my stress with sugar, i am beat down. i am physically, emotionally, and mentally tapped out and all i have left is "energy" enough to watch reruns of arrested development. comic relief.

actually, a couple weeks ago when i decided to start training, i was doing pretty spectacular.

monday - run

tuesday - cross train

wednesday - run

thursday - cross train

friday - yoga

saturday - long run

and then, the kids got sick. the baby started teething and had an earache and i was lucky if i got 5 hours of sleep a night. then i got sick. then we had to go to a funeral. then it rained and we had tornado warnings for about a week.

it seems the universe is conspiring against me.

but today, today was nice.

the hardest part about running is the first step out of the door, scratch that, the hardest part is prying off the little hands clenched into my thighs and chain-linked around my ankles so i can actually get dressed for running. that's the hardest part. but once i step out of my front door (or back), and breathe in the summer evening air, i feel alive!

i strap on my running music, warm up, and start moving.   

yeah, that first stretch of road is tough.



the heaviness is still lingering and there is the farm. i have to hold my breath as i try to outrun the stench of manure, and try not to gag. sometimes, if i time it right, the wind blows the manure in the opposite direction (around 7pm), and all i smell is freshly mowed grass and damp mulch. hmmm, heavenly. i pick up my pace, feeling a little lighter and run past summer bbq'ers, chirping robins, fiery sunsets, and lovely lavender bushes. i breathe it all in, especially the lavender bushes. it's like a gigantic lavender balloon filling my lungs and i can run forever.

what's better than summer, running, and listening to uninterrupted music of my choosing? time to think, time to focus, and time to exhale.

the only thing better than summer evening runs through rural wisconsin is lying in clean sheets with freshly shampooed hair, and sore muscles from head to toe. and thanks to sam, the kids are sound asleep in their own beds.

i finally did my long run today that was postponed due to sickness and tornado warnings.

i ran 5.23 miles in one hour. it's slow, but not too shabby.
some days running will be a priority, and some days, not.
 and i'm okay with that - i sorta have to be.

thank goodness i'm only running a half marathon this time.

the end.