relinquish: to surrender/renounce, to give up or desist from...

i love foggy days - when it concerns the weather. just in the past couple months, i had escaped the fogginess of my first trimester brain. i've been eagerly catching up on all the things i've let slip through.

running, cleaning, organizing, school stuff, creative projects, photo editing, and most importantly my time management calendars.

there seem to be days when i find myself floating through the day, not exactly knowing what i should do, which project to begin, whether or not i should start on the dishes or run the vacuum...and then it's too late, because suddenly, it's time to pick up kids from school, feed and change the baby, fix dinner, and add to the mounting pile of dishes, yet again. and with all the hustle and bustle the evening brings, i have very little energy at the end of the day. 

i needed some direction, something giving me a general idea of where i should be going and how i should be spending my time to make the very most of it.

i've made these before, in my not-so-foggy states of mind in the past. i love them. 

this is my color-coded weekly schedule. it tells me when we should be having snack time, dramatic play time, art day, family home evening, trips to the museum and library, when it is time to help with homework, etc. etc.

i created this helpful cheat sheet, courtesy of my byu preschool student teaching. this sheet tells me the books i want to focus on for the week; the writing/literacy activities i'd like to incorporate in our current project work - christmas, obviously; and the music, dramatic play, art projects, field trips/play dates we have laid out. it's a more specific version of the above plan so i'm not lost thinking of what to actually make during cooking time with the kids.

it also includes the projects/hobbies i want to complete during the week so i don't allow facebook to consume my every waking (free) moment - because heaven forbid facebook browsing becomes an actual "hobby" of mine.

 whenever i do follow these daily plans, i feel incredibly accomplished. i feel invigorated and full of energy. i finally feel on top of things again. 

to my great dismay...i had forgotten to accommodate the spontaneous nature of my very unpredictable husband. the catch is, if i had - i'd have to wipe this slate clean.

to illustrate:

this is what today was supposed to be: dropping kids off at school. samiyah's nap time. photo editing. picking kids up from school. mini trip to the museum. homework time. quiet/reading time, clean up time while i make dinner, eat dinner, family board games, bedtime stories and bedtime. 

this is what actually happened:

i did manage to get the kids to school and pick them up. so, i should feel fairly productive today, right?

that's basically where my time plan ended. this is the part where the roller-coaster ride begins. you know how you don't know where you're going exactly, when you're going to turn, when you're going to plummet to the ground, and when the ride will actually stop?

sam had been working like a mad man for the past week studying for finals. in fact, he never went to bed last night. 

sam needed to drop something off at the law school. i was hesitant about taking him along to pick up isaiah because i knew we'd never make it back without any detours. after his errand to the law school our first turn was a stop at the toy store. *mental note: substitute museum visit with christmas shopping*

after a few dropped displays and the sound of the fire alarm (thanks, makayah), we plummeted our way down the sidewalk to the very dangerously close "luigi's pizzeria." sam said because i had thrown out his left-out-overnight leftover block of blue cheese, that he deserved a good meal tonight. *mental note - substitute chicken burritos and spinach salad for thursday night's dinner*

samiyah is cranky when she is out of routine. she was being quite ornery and was put into seclusion by her merciless father, sam, who had placed her in time-out earlier for squirting her pureed apple/broccoli all over the wall.

okay, so i wasn't terribly disappointed that we weren't eating the chicken burritos i had planned tonight. i was more concerned with curbing the eating-out. but i have to admit, this pizza was brilliant and i enjoyed every bit of the truffle oil splendidness. who knew arugula would compliment the prosciutto so nicely?

the raspberry italian soda. this "plummeting" part of the ride was quite thrilling.

next turn, barnes and noble for hot cocoa and some stocking stuffers. samiyah insisted on holding her own cup, and i'm sure you can all guess how well that turned out. *mental note - sub out family board games with family hot cocoa time.* 

before the end of our impromptu roller-coaster ride, we made one last loop to one last shop. they didn't have what we were looking for, and so i called it quits - time to go home. the end of the ride came to a not-so-sudden stop, but at least it slowed. the kids readied for bed, stayed up just a little longer upon daddy's request to watch and laugh at a couple episodes of 'america's funniest videos.' *mental note - help isaiah with homework before he goes to school tomorrow.*

i did, however, get a good start on several projects as soon as the kids went to bed. 

i'm not at all complaining about the roller-coaster ride we had today. we had so much fun together and that is just as important as doing homework when it is supposed to be done, or eating the meals i had planned in advance.

in all seriousness, i realize to keep the peace and a good sense of balance between sam's parenting and my own, i need to relinquish complete control of daily activities. so i have to make some substitutions here and there so i don't forget about the wilting spinach in the fridge...so, isaiah's homework time got moved to the next morning, it'll get done, right? 

as long as it is finals week and predictability is completely nonexistent, i surrender. i give in. i desist from rigorous and strict adhering to my printed out, color-coded schedules. because right now, sam and what he needs to be doing at the time he needs to be doing it, is more important than my agenda... for now, because at some point the homework does need to be done and the kids do need to have their bath nights.

***

today i am grateful for:

*the funny things my kids say:

on the way to school this morning, isaiah said out of nowhere, "i love going to school. rocko can't see me there."

and when we found this broken ornament that samiyah had been constantly chewing on for the past three days, makayah declared, "mimzy! you broke the ornament! *exasperated sigh* now you're DOOMED for the rest of the day!"

*the time out that will save poor mimzy from a life of crime, as stated by sam's fellow law school classmate - that was a good laugh. ;) but seeing my poor mimzy sad in time out wasn't so laughable. i saved her after her age-appropriate one minute in the corner.

 *unpredictable, roller-coaster, christmas memories....along with the strength to relinquish control to do so.